last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize