Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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