come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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