I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
