Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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