I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I love you. Go after that dick
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
