Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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