Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
