i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He has the fingertips of a God
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