two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
