Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
