But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
