i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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