She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
