she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
