whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
