I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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