So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
