I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
