So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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