Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
