His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
