normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you win again, gameday.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
