I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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