I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
