if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
