This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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