Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
