What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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