Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Best friends brother. Beat that.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
