can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
