Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
