help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
two words: eviction party
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize