Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Are we still banned from the library?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
