I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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