champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
