shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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