Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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