He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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