After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
