I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize