she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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