I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize