Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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