I'm so fucking centered right now
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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