The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize