ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
