dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
