I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
