Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
