HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
