I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
This is not my ceiling
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
