What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
