I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
