Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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