Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He did a backflip because drugs
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize