We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
