dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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