let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
