Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
