Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And then my night got REAL pukey
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
