Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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