i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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