he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
