I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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